Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Emptiness and Covering Bases

Finally have the move set. By mid July, we'll be in the new place.

Meanwhile, it's tough to get much sleep. Lots of flashbacks and trying hard not to blackout. We have to fight back because if we don't it feels like we'll snap or vanish. It's really debilitating to fight this and cover everything else you have to.

On the other hand, you have to do it.

Are you scared at night when you try to go to sleep? Do you feel like you need to keep a weapon in the room or it carry it on you when you go out? We still need to have one with us because we just feel better.

You have to protect yourself.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

How's Your Day?

How's your evening/the next day? Since we are a global blog, we try to include everybody.

The new lease has been signed and we know the new move in date. Now, the usual fun moving stuff. But, we're covering bases in this and in other areas as well.

However, symptoms are still there. Despair is crippling and at times we get bombarded with millions of images of lots of sick people and s**t that they did. We try to hold onto solid things as we scream and fight to focus and not black out.

What other choice do we have?

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Covering Lots of Bases

Listening online to Game 6 of the NBA Finals. We're picking Dallas by 4. Right now, they're up by 10.

Took a break today for a while and then caught up on some PTSD research. Some studies say that too much caffeine can cause hallucinations and other problems that could be misdiagnosed as a wide range of things (ADD to various forms of psycosis).

Is that one underlying cause of many of our symptoms? Or, an aggravating factor?

There's a mix of emptiness and despair. Not to the point of us offing ourselves. But it's like you're here and everything takes an enormous amount of energy.

Does this happen to you? Feel free to post comments.