Happy 2012.

Happy 2012 in whatever time zone you're in. Thanks for the support in helping to spread the word. We now have readers in over 40 states and 30 countries. We never ask for money and everything here is free. The only thing we do ask is to tell others about this unless it endangers you in some way.

For the past couple of days, we've just felt really empty. You go around and get things done. Despite that, that emptiness and occasional despair is there. All of our mental health sources say the same thing. It's backed up trauma coming out. Not everybody heals at the same rate. Which means you're not crazy.

What helps you to deal with despair? We know you can't literally force someone else to understand about trauma. On the other hand, normal human beings have bad days and struggle with everything from abandonment to fighting out suicidal impulses. Will anyone ever give us any reassurance in any way?

We're trying to focus, but dissociating is a non-stop battle. At times we just turn all noise off and just look outside. We're not sure why we still can only take so much. We keep going though.

Some make predictions and have lots of resolutions. We have some predictions. As to the resolutions, we have a few. One would be to continue to maintain our balance as best we can. Another is to keep creating options instead of waiting for them to come to you. Beyond that, we have trouble thinking past two days from now.

The emptiness is still there. Keep your boundaries where necessary. Protect yourself because nobody else will. Finally, keep up the word-of-mouth advertising. It really does work.

Finally got closer back to therapy

How's your week before Xmas? We've been fighting symptoms, job hunting and trying to stay away from triggering stuff that seems to be everywhere. Some of it is to the point where you ask, why? Then, it's not our job to fix this.

Dissociating and adrenalin surges are still there. We scream and fight to not black out. At times we have to fight not feeling like we're going to disappear. Because we have no other choice.

Meditation helps at times. At others it's tough to try and focus. We feel like we're getting assaulted with images, noise and lots of other stuff. This shows how horrible our trauma really has been.

We have to fight back.

Who's Reading this Blog, Anyway?

As they say Down Under, how ya goin'? Have a nice weekend? We've been busy with applications and lots of in-person networking.

Who is reading this blog? We don't know all of your names. However, if you check out the very cool global map in the upper left corner, we're now up to 45 states and 37 countries. If we wanted to be nasty, we could trace you down to your neighborhood and then get Google satellite pics of your house. But that's just not cool. So no worries about that.

Instead, here's a money free pitch. We've been writing this blog now for a while. We have a growing audience, and thanks for that. Also, we've never asked for money. All of this is totally free content. The purpose is to hopefully minimize your stress as you seek help. Then, connect with someone who won't prejudge you in any way. We've been talking to some mental health sources, and the word is spreading.

In return, we ask one thing. Spread this to everyone and everywhere you think it might help. UNLESS it threatens your security. Also, no spam links. If you do it you'll get deleted. Why then bother to waste your time?

We have no personal assistant or marketing team. It's just us trying to be heard and help out in some way. However, anonymity is always first.

Thanks for reading.

Keep Your Balance

A little more work to do online tonight. Then, a latenight snack.

The emptiness is still there. Despite that, we're sticking to it's trauma coming out. Which means that it's healing. Terrifying at times, but healing.

A tough part of it is facing head on how horrible the trauma is. Fighting to get anger out before you black out. Keeping in mind you have to keep your balance to stay aware of your symptoms.

At times, keeping your sugar level even seems to help control lucid dreams. Sometimes not.

More as it happens.

Emptiness and then what?

Lots of bases to cover today. Is this a real job ad or a scam? Then, back home and more to cover online. We're doing as much in-person networking as possible. Then at night it's emails and other stuff.

Emptiness is still there. You just sit and don't know what to do.

You try to focus and break things down into tiny segments. However, many things take a tremendous amount of energy. Then you fight symptoms and do everything else. At night, you're totally wiped out. Then, you fight to focus and wake up the next day.

It's exhausting. But it has to come out.

Stay Warm and Keep Your Balance

Symptoms continue to hit hard. Much of the time we're exhausted fighting all the time to maintain some sense of balance. At times we've talked to several sources that we trust. All of them keep saying that yes it's trauma flooding out. It has been that severe for a long time. Now it has to come out (either in a good way or a bad way).

Sometimes we feel paralayzed from despair. We look out the window, we go for a walk, or we just stay in. You have to fight back. We still take a weapon with us when we go out. You have to protect yourself.

Stay away from triggering stuff as much as possible. If your intuition says it's bad, odds are it is. Set barriers where needed. Why? Because nobody else will do it for you.

The good news? We're smart enough to know that we still have a problem. Also, we're being as proactive as possible to get help.

Fell free to use this as one way to get yours.

How to find Your Balance

A lot of people talk about ying/yang. The right ph balance in your system. We're still struggling to find ours in many ways:

If you're a therapist, holisitc healer or doctor and know the answers to these questions, please post a comment:

Can too much acidic content destroy seratonin?
Can gluten affect a lot of conditions (everything from cancer to ADHD to PTSD)?
Does PTSD ever go away?
How do you cope with PTSD blackouts when one of your multiples takes over?
How do you survive violent flashbacks?
Do you take a weapon with you when you go out?
Do you feel like you're carrying everyone's trauma?
Does the physical pain of being raped ever go away?
What type of therapy has helped you (if you're a survivor)?

Feel free to post a comment. You don't have to do anything. However, we know that you're out there all over the world. If you post something, think of it as collective consciousness.

Just an idea.