Time to Catch Up

Sorry to be offline for a while. Lots of stuff to do and too many passwords to keep track of. It seems to be ok now.

How are your symptoms? In the past few weeks, there's been a lot of despair and being bombarded with flashbacks. Sights, sounds, colors and phrases that set off a chain that you have to fight your way through. On an intuitive level, you don't have a choice. You have to fight back. If you don't, you'll fall apart.

You fight to wake up and focus. Then all day long you keep screaming and trying to stay focused to be able to do everything else. At times you're this close to snapping or blacking out. However, you can't do that. If you don't fight back you'll fall apart.

We can't go back to therapy due to money. Which means new jobs first, stable income. Then go back. We've tried different sources to see if they could give us extra ideas to help us cope. Everyone's saying we're not therapists, so we can't do that. We'll just keep trying other places and see what happens.

The despair and terror is there. On the other hand, we try to keep our balance as best we can. There's no point in torturing yourself over things that you'll never have. That doesn't mean that we're not like every other normal person with emotions and bad days with this. At times, we turn things off and just go sit and look out the window. We reassure each other in different things:

It's not our fault
We can't control what others do and say
We're entitled to be heard

We know all of those things. However, the despair is still there. Other things are there too. Feeling like you're somehow abnormal or damaged (for lack of a better word). So obviously nobody wants anything to do with you.

We know that's not true. But that fear is still there.

How do you cope with that? How do you keep your balance and some sense of normalcy?

Did you know that it's illegal in the States for rape crisis centers to talk about guy survivors in any of their content? If you do, you get no government funding at all. Why in 2011? Who knows.

Does this happen in your area?

Thanks for the growing support. Since we have no ad budget, we're using quality content and word-of-mouth promotion. Please spread the word as much as possible (unless it endangers your safety or overall healing). It would be nice to save the world. First though is your protection.