Last night we called a crisis line. We were feeling really empty and abandoned. Everything is triggering and has to be screened. At times we feel like everything is hitting all at once.
Today, it's more of the same. Everyone who we trust say it's trauma coming out. You're not crazy. You're not going to vanish and never come back. The thought is there though. Will I disappear and then my multiples will take over? It's been a long time since that happened. I'm just concerned. What if it happens again?
Fighting my stuck fight-or-flight mechanism is really exhausting. You fight and scream so you don't black out. Then there's a temporary sense of relief. Then it starts again. At the end of the day we can barely move. At night, we scared to go to sleep.
There's still pain all over my body. You look for help, and nobody will come. Does anyone care?
You're not a freak. You're not weird.You're not going to kill anybody. However, you just can't sit back and do nothing.
We're still waiting to start temporary therapy. In the meantime, we have our crisis contact list just in case.
Everything has to be screened, because nothing is safe.
Since there's no instant cure for trauma, how do you deal with it? Break it down into small increments so it feels "manageable".
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