It's a mix of several things. It feels at times like there's some healing. At others, everything is magnified. We scream and fight to not literally snap as we try to get past our stuck fight-or-flight mechanism. Sometimes we don't know where we are. Is this real or is this a dream? Try sitting still for one minute and not having symptoms. No noise. Just focus on peace and quiet.
Focus on solid things in the room. A chain of numbers. Anything instead of emptiness.
I'm not a violent person. I don't want to kill anybody. Despite that, the anger, frustration and hyperawareness are there. Also a feeling of being segregated because of something that's not your fault.
What do we do?
Despair at times is still paralyzing. It takes enormous energy to not fall apart. Then you're too wiped out to do anything else. What other choice do we have?
Since there's no instant cure for trauma, how do you deal with it? Break it down into small increments so it feels "manageable".
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