Today is Day 1 of as little sugar as possible. Salads seem weird at first without dressing. Can you cope with only lemon juice? We'll see.
We still fight to maintain our balance. When dissociating is severe, it's like we're going to black out UNLESS we get our balanc back. Dissociative blackouts used to happen. When they did, our system basially shorted out because of the stress. Then you come to and have no idea where you are.
Lucid dreams still happen as well. We have to fight back and kill them before they kill us. There's pain in different parts of your body. Anal pain and the tip of your penis. Even though it's a lucid dream, you have to fight back. If you don't, you feel like the world world is beating you into the ground. Then, split second images of stabbing yourself or jumping off some building happen. I'm not a suicidal or violent person. However, I WILL fight to protect myself. Now, imagine having to fight all day every day, and do everything else as well.
How do you do that?
Anger is still there. We stab them before the attack us. We scream and cry and fight to not black out. You don't have a choice. Nobody's going to help you. We know it's not our fault. Why then do we have to fight symptoms all day long?
There's despair and at times flashbacks to where nobody's there and nobody cares. All the sources that we trust say you have to get it out. If not in a good way, it will come out in a bad way.
Trying hard to focus.
Since there's no instant cure for trauma, how do you deal with it? Break it down into small increments so it feels "manageable".
No comments:
Post a Comment